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SARCASM

Sarcasm is the sneering, jesting, or mocking of a person, situation or thing. It is strongly associated with irony, with some definitions classifying it as a type of verbal irony intended to insult or wound— stating the opposite of the intended meaning, e.g. using "that's fantastic" to mean "that's awful".

It is used mostly in a humorous manner, and is expressed through vocal intonations such as over-emphasizing the actual statement or particular words. Use of sarcasm is sometimes viewed as an expression of concealed anger, annoyance and/or ignorance.

Fyodor Dostoyevsky defined sarcasm as "the last refuge of modest and chaste-souled people when the privacy of their soul is coarsely and intrusively invaded."

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"Sarcasm" appeared in English in 1579, from Late Latin "sarcasmos," in turn from Hellenistic or Medieval Greek "sarkasmos," and ancient Greek σαρκάζω (sarkazo, meaning 'to tear flesh'). (In ancient Greek the word for this idea was instead χλευασμός). Irony is closely associated with sarcasm, although Socrates, considered the father of dissembling irony, was not sarcastic.

SARCASTIC SAYINGS
*This day was a total waste of makeup.
*Make yourself at home, clean my kitchen!
*Don't bother me, I'm living happily ever after!
*This isn't an office, it's Hell with florescent lighting.
*You!! Off my planet!
*If I throw a stick, will you go away?
*Practice random acts of kindness and selfless acts of self-control.
*I like cats too, let's exchange recipes!
*Does your train of thought have a caboose?
*I'm not crazy I've just been in a bad mood for 15 years!
*I majored in liberal arts. Is that for here or to go?
*And your crybaby opinion would be...?
*Allow me to introduce my selves
*A PBS mind in an MTV world.
*Don't worry, I forgot your name too!
*Surburbia: Where they tear out the trees and name streets after them!
*I just wnat revenge, is that so bad?
*Back off! You're standing in my aura!
*I can't remember if I'm the good twin or the evil one.
*Ok! Ok! I take it back! UnScrew you!
*You say I'm a slut like it's a bad thing.
*Not all males are annoying, some are dead.
*Chaos, Panic & disorder, my work here is done!
*Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
*Ambivalent? Well, Yes and no.
*Earth is full. Go home.
*Everyone thinks I'm psychotic, except my friends deep inside the Earth.
*Did I mention the kick in the groin you'll get if you touch me?
*Meandering to a different drummer.
*I'm not tense, I'm just terribly alert!
*What am I?? Flypaper for morons?
*I'm not being rude, you're being insignificant.
*Someday we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.
*You sound resonable...time to up my medication!
*I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter!
*Who me? I just wander from room to room (net site to net site)...
*I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.

these r not my sayings
if u r interested u can contact
rubber_ducky_@hotmail.com

SARCASTIC SAYINGS PART 2
>>Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.
- Ashleigh Brilliant

» It's always darkest before it turns absolutely pitch black.
- Paul Newman

» It's a catastrophic success.

» I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here.
- Stephen Bishop

» History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives.
- Abba Eban

» No, Groucho is not my real name. I am breaking it in for a friend.
» I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
» I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
» I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
» I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.
- Groucho Marx

» The United States is a nation of laws: badly written and randomly enforced.
- Frank Zappa

» The 100% American is 99% idiot.
» The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech.
- George Bernard Shaw

» He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.
- Oscar Wilde

» He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.
- Victor Borge

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
- Mark Twain

» I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.
- Clarence Darrow

» If you ever become a mother, can I have one of the puppies?
- Charles Pierce

» You have delighted us long enough.
- Jane Austen

I'M FAN OF SARCASM

little sarcastic storry

Everyone in the world is getting sarcastic. It's not just comedians and dicks anymore. Years ago, sarcasm was reserved for people talking to people stupider than them. Now the stupids are fighting back, and doing it so badly, you can't trust anything people say anymore. Here's a true story that might show you what I mean. I was sitting in a local Starbucks, silently kicking ass with a book, and a man came in asking for a double diet frapacheeny decaf ventie some shit. The guy behind the counter said, "Ooooh... we're out of that."
Man: "Oh. Well then I'll have..."
Starbucks: "Ha ha ha, I was being SARCASTIC. We have [whatever]."
Man: "Okay. I'll take one then."

After the man left, the people who worked there wiped their sense off on their aprons and called the guy an idiot. An idiot for believing what the coffee kid told him. If believing things that clerks say makes a person an idiot, then that makes every person on the planet an idiot, including me, and that's medically impossible. I was a little confused at the time, but I didn't ask the brilliant kid wiping the counter to explain it to me. On the ride home I realized it was funny because he said he didn't have the thing, but he really did have the thing*. All that man had to do to know it was a joke was sneak in the back to check the shop's inventory, make sure all their machines were working, and get back out as silent as the night. That coffee-ordering man really was an idiot. It proves the theory that the only true geniuses we have left are the people doing inventory at Starbucks.

*There are variations on this gag. You might pull up to a gas station some day and the attendant will say "Sorry, pal! We're out of gas!" It's a good one. In fact, I might start keeping an empty gas tank in my house just for when I need a good laugh. Not having gas is hilarious! It's killing me! There's still no gas in the tank! Every time I check I laugh!

Piczo